Jury Duty...

So, I got a summons for Jury Duty for next week. I don't mind doing my "civic duty" and all that but I was concerned. Why? A number of reasons I shall address below.

They do not allow cell phones of any type in the courtroom. To be more precise, my summons actually says this..."Jurors may not bring drugs, alcohol, cell phones or weapons in the Justice Center." Huh? Cell phones rank right up there with drugs and weapons!! What has happened in the past? Has someone thrown a phone at a judge and taken him/her out?! This seems nuts!

So, according to the summons, my BlackBerry must remain safely locked in the car. This is not good news. That thing might as well be drugs or alcohol since I have a serious CrackBerry addiction. The thoughts of hours on end without being able to check my email or update my Facebook status makes me break out in a cold sweat! What if someone gets my movie quote on Facebook and I can't put another one up for hours?! The world as we know it could end!

OK...so no BlackBerry. What else is on this list of things I can and can't take? Well, I can take books, hand-held video games, my iPod, non-alcoholic beverages (they keep harping on this one...makes me wonder how many folks have showed up with a fifth of Jack!) and snacks. They make it clear that these items are not provided by the court. Really?! I assumed they would have a little cart with a variety of snacks, books, magazines and other items...Duh! Who is showing up for Jury Duty?

Now I know what I can take. Great. Then the summons goes on to outline what attire is appropriate. Here is what it says..."Jurors must be dressed appropriately while in the Justice Center. Although the judge will determine whether jurors' attire is appropriate, jurors should not wear shorts, short skirts, sagging pants, see-through or suggestive clothing, visible undergarments (including undershirts and tank tops), flip flops, house shoes, bandanas, headbands, hats/caps, or clothing with inappropriate or offensive advertisements or slogans." OK...now, I never imagined that I would whip out my leather mini skirt, tube top and stilleto flip flops for this venue, but I guess some people might. AND...who has worn house shoes to court? Someone did or it wouldn't be on this list! In fact, someone has worn all of these things...probably on a regular basis...to the courtroom for them to be on this list. Now I am fearful of who might sit next to me!

For the pleasure of serving my country in this manner, I will be rewarded with $10 a day! Heck folks, that will not even pay for 1/16 of the therapy bill I will need after doing this "job'!

Being a type A person, I had read all of this information when I first received the summons and prepared myself mentally for this duty. Today I was able to call and see if I had to report on Monday. Now I rarely catch a "lucky break". In fact, my second novel will be "You too can have my luck"...but the luck discussed will all be bad. BUT...to my great surprise, when I called they said that I didn't need to report Monday or at all! They thanked me for my willingness to serve and said that I would not be needed!

While I am glad that I will not have to serve, I do sorta wish that I could have seen my fellow jury members so I could have blogged about their fashion choices. I would have also let you all know what happens when someone tries to smuggle in a BlackBerry. Hey, someone has to test the system!