Whoever Wrote The Joys Of Parenting Didn't Have Children...

Today was back to school for my oldest child. So, that should impact his life most...right? NO! What happens is it throws the entire household into "school" mode. I don't like school mode. I like slacker mode to be honest. However, slacker mode will not get you into MIT so off to school mode we go!

What I mean by school mode is the following (and this is only the evening portion!):

6 p.m. Dinner...usually including...I don't like this, he got a smaller/bigger something, my cup is green and I wanted it to be blue.

7 p.m. Bath time with screaming, fighting and me issuing threats.

7:30 p.m. Thirty minutes until bedtime warning to brush teeth and start getting ready or NO story tonight...Mom will not read another Chapter in Treasure Island...I am serious!

7:45 p.m. Fifteen minute warning with harsh threats and talk of spanking or video game destruction (taking the video games away isn't good enough...you have to threaten to actually throw them away or blow them up in the backyard!)

8 p.m. Time is up! Get in bed....Get In Bed...GET IN BED NOW....GET IN BED NOW OR I WILL DO SOMEONE HARM (probably myself at this point).

8:15 p.m. Story time where the kids attempt to play while I read with my best Long John Silver voice and alternately yell at them to get back in bed or I will put the book down!

8:30 p.m. I leave the room to sounds of wailing....I want a glass of water...can I sleep with my brother...I forgot to finish my homework (yes, this happened tonight on the first day of school!)

8:45 p.m. I take up drinking. KIDDING...I have been drinking the whole time. No folks...I don't drink but I do consider it on nights like these.

8:45 p.m. Iron clothes for everyone while wondering what people that have no children are doing. Do they get to sleep more? Do they get to drive nicer cars that haven't been thrown up in? Do they do important things like watch the news to stay current on world events?

9 p.m. Make sure that a healthy snack is packed in the backpack and lay out the clothes for tomorrow.

9:15 p.m. Well...it is me time. What shall I do with all this free time? Type something I should...nope...write something I should...nope...review the script I should...maybe...watch a movie while pretending to review the script...sounding better.

Another day in Mommyville draws to a close. People say that I will reflect on these times years from now and wish I had them back. I personally think those people are crazy.