A Good Book and a Warm Bath

In the movie Jerry MaGuire, Renée Zellweger's character Dorothy utters this line, "I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath."  I guarantee that Dorothy was talking about a Nora Robert's book.

I have a theory that I think holds true for all women.  Here it is.  No matter how bad your day has been, if you light some candles, fill a tub with hot water and read a Nora Robert's book, your outlook on life will change for the better.  Your problems will look smaller, your sadness will be less and your anxiety level will be lowered when you get around to pulling the plug on the tub. 

For those of you who have never read a Nora book, you are missing out.  She is hands down the best writer of women's fiction EVER.  Yep, I said EVER!  Why?  I'll tell you.  Even though she has more than a hundred books to her name, her characters are always fresh, funny, and relatable.  She does however follow a pattern that works, at least for me, everytime.  The men are, without fail, handsome, successful and intelligent gentlemen!  They can be lawyers, writers, architects, artists, or professors.  Just when I think I have met my favorite one, she writes another one!  (I am leaving out the JD Robb books which Nora writes under the aforementioned pen name.  I have to leave those out because it isn't fair to the other guys.  Roarke rocks both on and off planet.  Read one and you will know what I mean!)

This has been a hard week.  Heck, this has been a hard year.  The holidays haven't helped because, like most other women, I have presents to buy (I actually have a color coded Excel spreadsheet for gifts...it's a sickness), presents to wrap, trees (yes, multiple) to decorate, housework to do, cooking (have I mentioned I hate cooking?) and what seems like a million other things on a never ending to do list!  Add to that a couple of months of stress levels that have made my Fibromyalgia go into hyperdrive and I am tense, ticked, and tired.  So, tonight I decided to throw my responsiblities to the wind and take a bath.  I didn't even have a new Nora book.  I dug an old one out and started reading!  Amazingly enough, the books even work on second, third or fourth reads! 

As I really relaxed for the first time in what seemed like weeks, that quote from Jerry MaGuire popped to mind.  Yeah, it is probably because Nora can write sex like no one else.  There, I said it.  She writes amazing sex and that is why I think Dorothy was talking about a Nora Roberts book in her famous quote.  Is it because she is such an awesome writer?  Yes and not really.  I think any woman, if she could articulate well enough, could come up with similar.  And, let's be honest, women writers know what women really want.  That is why I tell all my guy friends to pick up a Nora book and learn a thing or two about wooing a woman!

How about just a small sample of Nora's magic?  One of her recent novels was about a woman who had, years before, been the lone survivor of a serial killer.  She rebuilt her life and now trains dogs...both pets and search and rescue dogs.  I know what you are thinking.  Serial killer survior who trains dogs?!  What?! How can this be a "romance novel" setting?!  Well, Nora isn't the typical romance novelist and that is why I called her a women's fiction writer.  She can write murder, mystery, suspense and sex all at the same time.  Sometimes she skips the murder and it is just pretty people in cool jobs falling in love.  That works too.  Anyway, her book about the dog trainer is titled, The Search.  The love interst in this one is an artist.  I liked him immediately.  He is tempermental, says what he means even if he steps on toes and, as always, is handsome, successful and an intelligent gentleman.  The two "leads" are equally matched and they verbally battle right up until they move the battle to...well...read the book and see for yourself!  Oh, did I mention a copy cat serial killer is out to finish the job on the woman?  Yep, Nora keeps you on your toes.

There you have it.  The cure for the crappy day.  A good book...I obviously recommend Nora Roberts...and a warm bath.  I promise it will not disappoint!  Ask Dorothy!

Breaking Dawn ~ Part 1

I finally went to see the much anticipated first part of Breaking Dawn.  (No lunch and a 4 o'clock showing was too much to pass up!)  The second part of the movie comes out next November.  I think it is a big mistake.  It is my belief that Twilight has ran its course.  This time next year we will be wanting the next Hunger Games movie.  Just saying.

Anyway, this one stays close to the book and actually moves fast for a two hour movie.  It starts with the wedding.  Finally, Bella and Edward are going to have their dream wedding.  Well, it is really Alice's dream wedding but they play the leading roles.  Oh...I should say right now that this is going to have SPOILERS, SPOILERS, and more SPOILERS.  I am not kidding.  I already told you they had a wedding! 

OK.  Still with me?  Good!  So, the wedding is lovely.  Very Cullen...read overboard.  Bella's hair bothers me in this part because she is described in the book as being gorgeous at the wedding.  Well, she is not!  Her hair has these pieces hanging down and it just looks half done.  Can someone get a better hair person on the set?!  Guess not! 

As much as I criticize Kristen Stewart, I think this movie was her best.  She really looked nervous as she started down the aisle and that exactly ties into the book.  As soon as she locks eyes with Edwards, she makes you believe that she loves him (not hard since Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson a.k.a. Edward really are a couple!).  BUT...she does a good job.  I had a silly smile on my face throughout the entire wedding.  Part of it was that they filmed the kiss with the camera rotating around them and the crowd was gone.  It was just like the first movie when they danced at the prom.  The best part was they used the same song and it was great!  I like full circle and this was great full circle. 

Anyway, then there were these hysterical toasts.  Anna Kendrick talks about the famous "Edward hair" to which I laughed out loud and Bella's father says he knows Edward will be a good husband because he is in law enforcement (the dad, not Edward) and he knows how to hunt people and use a gun!  Love that Billy Burke!  Shortly thereafter the newlyweds leave on their honeymoon.  Bella says goodbye (AGAIN) to Jacob and they fight.  He discovers that Bella and Edward plan on having a real honeymoon and he fears Bella will be killed.  She says it's none of his business, blah, blah, blah.  Honestly, I think Taylor Lautner is sick of playing Jacob.  He didn't seem to be even trying during part of the movie.  Robert Pattinson was worse too at times or the make up was just bad.  Again...hair and make up!  Who hired these folks?!

So, they arrive at the big honeymoon!  Yep, we have all waited for it!  The book doesn't go into much detail.  The movie shows some "love scenes" but they are tame and I thought nicely done.  Not too much.  I always disliked the part of the book where Edward goes on and on about hurting Bella and they downplayed that part.  For those who haven't read the books, Edward is super strong and he is very hesitant to have sex with Bella while she is still human for fear he will hurt her.  As it turns out, he bruises her shoulder and arms a little.  SO WHAT?!  Anyway, he is grief stricken by this fact and refuses to touch her again.  (Funny part - he totally trashes the bedroom...way more than in the book.  The bed is broken as is other furniture and the feather pillows are toast..hence the picture which was the first image released for the movie.) 

Edward sets off to entertain Bella by playing chess and going swimming.  Yep, playing chess is going to turn her right off.  However, we women are sneaky and men are easy (usually) when it comes to sex so she brings him around to her line of thinking.  Then she gets sick.  No worries, she'll just take some meds she brought with her.  Then she spies the Tampax box and things click up.  Uh oh...she's late and, although she didn't notice before, she has a tiny belly and something is kicking her from the inside!  Edward freaks out and tells her he will have Carlisle (his adopted vampire father who is a doctor) get rid of the thing.  Bella freaks out at him calling the baby a thing and decides to protect the baby. 

Fast forward a couple of weeks and Bella is now hugely pregnant and looking horrible!  Kristen Stewart rocks this part!  It is pretty much every picture of her you see in People magazine when she is at the airport, grocery store, etc!  Stringy hair, pale skin, yucky clothes.  So, the Cullen clan all just sit and watch her like a ticking time bomb!  Let me stop here again to say that their hair and make up is getting crazy looking.  Poor Jasper looks worse in each movie.  Can someone get that guy a decent wig?! 

All this time the wolf pack that Jacob belongs to are running around fighting because part of them think Bella's demon baby is a threat and they want to kill her.  Jacob, although upset with her, isn't going to hurt Bella.  So, the wolf pack is at odds and Jacob and his posse join up with the Cullens. 

Bella continues to waste away until Jacob comes up with a thought that Edward reads out of his head.  (Yes, Edward can read every one's mind except Bella,  Go figure!)  The idea is that the baby, being half vamp, wants blood.  Bella agrees to try to drink some blood and the day is saved!  Well, maybe not.   That baby still has to get out and it is getting stronger by the day.  Edward can read the baby's mind and he bonds with it.  That part was actually very sweet and I think the actors pulled it off very well.  It is the first moment Bella and Edward are on the same page with the baby being a miracle and a blessing.  Again, sappy smile was on my face.

As fate would have it, the doctor is out when Bella goes into labor.  It is actually more like Bella's back breaks or something and then really bad things start happening.  Kristen Stewart can really bring the painful looks so she is again good in the birthing scene.  She also plays dead well!  I think they took the "Bella didn't make it" part too far because it isn't like that in the book.  Once Edward injects his venom into her heart, she starts to transform more quickly. 

I will have to give kudos to the special effects folks for making Kristen look so bad then transforming her as she is becoming a vampire.  It is very cool to see her go from ghastly to beautiful and then...wait for it...her eyes to pop open and be blood red.  CUT TO BLACK!  Wait a year and see what happens.  I'll let you in on something now, it has its ups and downs but they have their happily ever after.

Recap...wedding, sex, pregnancy gone wrong, birth gone really wrong, cute baby vamp/girl, vampire Bella.

Join me next year as we finally put a steak in this one and call it done.  I, for one, am really to see Katniss bring it in The Hunger Games!  Sorry, Bella, I am kinda over you.

More Music...

I haven't seen any movies lately so this is another post about music.  After OD'ing on Adele's Someone Like You and having some type of breakdown in the car the other morning where I was crying and singing and other drivers were looking worried, I decided to sing along to something else. 

I know, I know...The Dixie Chicks are jackwagons for their anti-America comments following 9-11.  I think they figured out fairly quickly that their demographic of listeners (flag flying, gun carrying, conservatives) didn't take kindly to their remarks about then President Bush or the good old US of A!  Know your audience...just saying.

BUT...before they outed themselves as liberal, flag burning chicks (OK, I don't think they burned a flag but it's possible!), I really liked them!  I even bought their CD.  It's worth mentioning that I almost never bought a CD but I spent hard earned money on one of theirs.  AND then they treat us like this following the worst act of terrorism on our soil EVER!  Sorry...I didn't know I still had that in me.

Back on track.  Anyway, I really loved that CD.  It was fun.  They were fun.  So, to pull myself out of the breakdown following my singing along to Adele, I cranked up Goodbye Earl.  Remember that one?  If you don't, here is the video.

I LOVE this song.  "Ain't it dark?!  Wrapped up in that tarp!"  "We need a grave!  Let's go down to the lake.  We'll pack a lunch!  And stuff you in the trunk! Is that alright?  GOOD!  Let's go for a ride!"

Now, I must have a sick sense of right and wrong but I think Earl got what was coming to him!  I am probably also sick for thinking these lyrics are hysterical.  BUT...if this was my best friend, he'd be at the bottom of some lake too!  In fact, I have said as much to my best friend's husband.  I think it's best to establish clear lines of communication on these things.  I was clear and, as long as he behaves, he has no worries!  I still have the tarp...just in case.  Kidding!  Mostly...

SO, instead of crying while I sing along to Adele, I have a huge smile on my face as I help Mary Ann and Wanda kill off Earl!  I'm not right.  It's OK.  I'm good with it!

Have a great week...and don't beat your wife or...well...ask Earl!

WARNING!

OK...so I introduced you guys to Adele a couple of posts ago with Rolling in the Deep and then again earlier today with Someone Like You.  I had just downloaded Someone Like You this morning (thanks MT for turning me onto the song!) and I have played it all day.  It is addictive!  Much like Rolling in the Deep was when I first downloaded it.  That is not the warning.

Here is where you need to be warned.  If you like to sing along to songs...I like to very much...then you might want to stick to listening to this song in your car.  It is hard to sing along to the likes of  Adele.  Little known fact...I sing amazing when I am in my car by myself.  Trust me.  It is awesome!  A funny thing happens outside the car or when others are in the car.  I can't carry a tune!  I am guessing it is the acoustics in the car when there aren't others there to clog up my air.  Anyway, since I was obsessing about this song, I found myself singing it outside of the car today!  YIKES!!  Yes, it is as painful to hear as you might imagine.

So, what have learned?  Adele is rocking awesome!  I can sing amazing well in the car by myself.  I should not, under any circumstances, attempt to sing outside of the car!

You guys have been warned.  Maybe you can sing outside of your cars but, just in case, I thought I should give you a heads up.

As a side note to this rambling post, (Two posts today...I know!  What's up with that?!) I also have very strange taste in music.  Maybe it is better if I say eclectic. Yes, that sounds better.  When I downloaded Adele's lovely tune, I also got Goodbye Earl from the Dixie Chicks (Yes, I don't like them anymore either but that song is from their pre "We hate America" era.), Ride a Horse Save a Cowboy by Big and Rich, Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi and Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO (Yeah, I didn't know the name of the group before I downloaded it!).  Is that a weird bunch of songs or what?!  So far, Adele has been the big winner on the playlist...and sing fest!  I am struggling to get past seeing Hamsters in Kia Souls when I listen to Party Rock Anthem.  Oh well...

Movies, Songs, Etc...

Do you think movie stars ever get a role where they get to play a part that they actually wanted to play in real life?  For example...do you think Tom Cruise really wanted to fly the F16 to the edge of the envelope or drive in NASCAR?  If so, their job just became so much cooler for them in those movies! 

Imagine you knew that they wanted something like that (fly the jet, etc.) and then you watched as they acted that out.  Wouldn't it be cool?  I sorta had that experience lately.  As I sat watching, I was riveted by the experience and wanted to cry.  (OK...I was really tired so that could have accounted for the almost crying part.)  Anyway, sometimes things just hit you at moments you didn't expect and I think you get a rare glimpse into the "what ifs" of this world.

OK...there is something about movies.  Whew!  My job to blog about movies is done!

I was listening to Adele this morning.  If you have not discovered her, you need to!  Check out this song.  It is amazing!  Her vocals and lyrics are haunting and this video, in its simplicity, works so very well.

I'd Do Anything For Love...

After talking about Bonnie Tyler's song in Footloose, and the comment about Steinman songs, I remembered another one of my favorites...I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) sung by Meat Loaf.  It is a really LONG song.  In fact, according to one site, the original version was 12 minutes long.  Steinman was told to cut it down and he did so they would actually play it on the radio.  The radio version is shorter than the video version but all are shorter than the original. 

When this one came out I played it over and over...and sang it really LOUD in my car!  I always wanted to act this one out.  Don't ask...I like acting and costuming so these things play out in my head.  Anyway, I thought it told a great story.  I also love how the majority of the song is Meat Loaf and then the woman jumps in and asks some tough questions.  Here are the lyrics from the radio version (I think)...

And I would do anything for love,
I'd run right into hell and back.
I would do anything for love,
I'll never lie to you and that's a fact.

But I'll never forget the way you feel right now, oh no, no way.
And I would do anything for love,
Oh I would do anything for love,
I would do anything for love,
But I won't do that,
No I won't do that.

And some days it don't come easy,
And some days it don't come hard,
Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end.

And some nights you're breathing fire.
And some nights you're carved in ice.
Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again.

And maybe I'm crazy.
Oh it's crazy and it's true.
I know you can save me, no one else can save me now but you.

As long as the planets are turning.
As long as the stars are burning.
As long as your dreams are coming true, you'd better believe it!

That I would do anything for love,
And I'll be there till the final act.
And I would do anything for love,
And I'll take the vow and seal a pact.

But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way, tonight.

And I would do anything for love,
But I won't do that.
No, I won't do that!

I would do anything for love,
Anything you've been dreaming of,
But I just won't do that.
[x2]

[Solo]
And some days I pray for silence,
And some days I pray for soul,
Some days I just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll!

And maybe I'm lonely,
That's all I'm qualified to be.
There's just one and only, one and only promise I can keep.

As long as the wheels are turning.
As long as the fires are burning.
As long as your prayers are coming true, you'd better believe it!

That I would do anything for love,
And you know it's true and that's a fact.
I would do anything for love,
And there'll never be no turning back.

But I'll never do it better than I do it with you, so long, so long.
And I would do anything for love,
Oh, I would do anything for love,
I would do anything for love,
But I won't do that.
No, no, no, I won't do.....

I would do anything for love.
Anything you've been dreaming of.
But I just won't do that!
[x3]

But I'll never stop dreaming of you,
Every night of my life.
No way.

And I would do anything for love.
But I won't do that.
No I won't do that.


[Girl]
Will you raise me up, will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this God forsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?

[Boy]
I can do that. Oh I can do that.

[Girl]
Will you cater to every fantasy I've got?
Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot? Hot!
Will you take me places I've never known?

[Boy]
Now I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!

[Girl]
After awhile you'll forget everything.
It was a brief interlude
And a midsummer night's fling,
And you'll see that it's time to move on.

[Boy]
I won't do that. I won't do that.

[Girl}
I know the territory, I've been around,
It'll all turn to dust and will all fall down,
Sooner or later, you'll be screwing around.

[Boy]
I won't do that. No, I won't do that.

Anything for love,
Oh, I would do anything for love,
I would do anything for love,
But I won't do that.
No, I won't do that.

All those pledges and promises from the guy.  This girl is the only one who can save him...the only one he will ever love.  Then comes the girl.  I love the part where she asks (she's setting him up)..."Will you make it all a little less cold?"  Sure, he'll do that.  "Will you cater to every fantasy I've got?  Will you take me places I've never known?"  Sure again, he'll do that!  Then she hits him with it.  He'll end up being bored with her.  He'll want someone else.  He'll end up with someone else.  No.  He claims he won't do that.  Will he?  Guess it depends on the guy.

This song has a awesome video.  OK, at least I think it is awesome because I had already wanted to act the thing out before I saw the video!  Michael Bay (he that blows things up in movies) directed the video.  It is based on Beauty and the Beast and The Phantom of the Opera.  Bob Keane did Meat Loaf's make-up, which took up to two hours to apply. The make-up was designed to be simple and scary, yet "with the ability to make him sympathetic." (It also serves to make Meat Loaf look more attractive when he is shown minus the make-up!)  It went over budget, and was filmed in 90 °F heat, across four days. According to one executive, it "probably had the budget of Four Weddings and a Funeral."  It is the abridged seven minute single version, rather than the twelve minute album version.  Check it out...

There you have it!  Meat Loaf singing one of my favorites!  Great song, great video and a great memory from the 90s.

I Need A Hero...

With that title I bet you guys think I am going to write about yet another superhero movie.  Well, you would be wrong!

Today marks the release date of the remake of Footloose.  I hear it is terrible.  I don't plan on seeing it.  However, it got me thinking about the original version.  I LOVE that movie.  Teen angst, dancing, Kevin Bacon as the cool, bad boy...what's not to love? 

The original Footloose came out in 1984 and was billed as "a city boy comes to a small town where rock music and dancing have been banned."  What?!  Ban rock and roll music and dancing?  Yep!  Apparently, a group of kids had been out partying one night several years before and got killed in a car accident.  The town went nuts and cut out music and dancing.  Enter that city boy, Ren, who thinks it's a really stupid rule. 

Wouldn't you know it, the city boy ends up catching the eye of the pastor's daughter, Ariel.  The pastor is the leader of this no dancing deal and Ariel makes it her mission to play the bad girl role to the hilt.  Guess what they say about pastor's kids is true!  Anyway, Ariel's new mission is to get Ren even though she has a boyfriend (he beats her so we all hate him).  Ren's mission is to change the town or get out. 

Thankfully, Ren does make some friends along the way.  You know, those great people who talk you into doing things like playing chicken with tractors!  Yep, Ren ends up facing off against Ariel's boyfriend in a dangerous game of tractor chicken!  Check out that clip below.  Be aware - there is probably language.  The 80s movies are well known for adding in the language!  Here you go...

That song playing in the background is Bonnie Tyler's I Need A Hero (yep, there's that blog title!).  What a GREAT 80s song!  It also has a great lesson for all you guys on what a woman really is looking for!  Check out the lyrics...

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need

I need a hero
I’m holding on for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero (hero)
I’m holding on for a hero ‘till the morning light (‘till the morning light)
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life (gotta be larger than life)
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There’s someone reaching back for me

Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It’s gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

I need a hero
I’m holding on for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding on for a hero ‘til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
I need a hero
I’m holding on for a hero ‘til the end of the night

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I could swear there is someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like a fire in my blood
I need a hero...etc...

See, guys, that is all you need to do!  Bonnie spells it out very clearly!  Warrior just back from battle (please wear cool costume...see Thor post if you need inspiration) where he has rescued the fair maiden or defended her in some way.  Contrary to all that feminist talk, at the heart of it all, women still want the white knight.  Unfortunately, there are so few of those heroes still around.  Oh well...

Back to Footloose.  Ren has some great dance numbers with the most famous one being a heated, angry dance through a warehouse.  In case you've never seen it, check it out.  Oh...before you play it please be aware that Ren smokes and drinks in this clip.  Those kids from the 80s were BAD!

One of the most heartwarming moments of the movie comes when Ren attempts to teach his new farmer friend, Willard, how to dance.  Check it out...

In the end, the kids get to have their school dance and Ren gets the girl.  This clip, showing the end of the movie, has a little note at the beginning so be patient.  Also, please note the rocking 1984 styles these kids are sporting! 

Yes, the 80s were an interesting time.  Too bad Hollywood can't leave well enough alone and stop with all the remakes!  Someone must have some new ideas!  Anyone?!  If you do, call California...