Bridges...

A couple of weeks ago I posted a quote in my never-ending Facebook movie quote game. The quote was this:

"When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children; in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you're expected move again only you don't remember what moves you because no-one has asked in so long. Not even yourself."

I had just pulled a movie out of my head, found a quote and threw it out there for my Facebook friends to play along in my little game. What I discovered was that women love this movie/book and men absolutely hate it. I had never gotten such a polarized response to a quote before so it got me to thinking. Why?

Ever read The Bridges of Madison County? I have...a long time ago in what seems like another life. I saw the movie too but it didn't measure up to the book...as is often the case. If you have never read the book or seen the movie, I will give you a little "Cliff Notes" version I found on imdb.com that was for the movie but it works for the book too:

The path of Francesca Johnson's future seems destined when an unexpected fork in the road causes her to question everything she had come to expect from life. While her husband and children are away at the Illinois state fair in the Summer of 1965, Robert Kincaid happens upon the Johnson farm and asks Francesca for directions to Rosamunde Bridge. He explains that he is on assignment from National Geographic magazine to photograph the bridges of Madison County. She agrees to show him to the bridges and thus begins the bittersweet and all-too-brief romance of her life. Through the pain of separation from her secret love and the stark isolation she feels as the details of her life consume her, she writes down the story of this four-day love affair in a 3-volume diary. The diary is found by her children among her possessions and alongside Robert Kincaid's possessions after Francesca is dead. The message they take from the diaries is one of hope that they will do what is necessary to find happiness in their lives -- whatever is necessary. After learning that Robert Kincaid's cremated remains were scattered off Rosamunde Bridge and that their mother requested a similar disposition for her own ashes, the children must decide whether to honor their mother's final wishes or bury her alongside their father as the family had planned.

So, what have we got here? A story about a woman who cheated on her husband? Yep. A story about a woman who thought of leaving her children behind for the love of her life? Yep. A story about a 4 day encounter that changed the course of two people's lives forever? Yep.

I have a theory on why women love this story. We relate to it. There comes a time in our lives...mother's especially...when we fell overwhelmed, overworked and underappreciated. Add to that fact that mother nature has begun to rob us of our youth and we find ourselves in a very dark place. The question..."is this all there is to life?" starts being pondered and we think of all the things that could be different...

I also have a theory why men hate this story. They don't understand it. The men almost always identify with the husband in the story and feel that the story's lead, Francesca, is terrible for being unfaithful to her husband. Is she unfaithful. Yep. Is it wrong. Most definately. However, what men know somewhere deep down is that the husband is not entirely innocent in this story. Did he drive her to it? No...the blame shouldn't lie on him because it was her choice. BUT...why did she make the choice? Was she happy? No. Did she feel loved, appreciated, precious to her husband? No again. So, when that photographer came knocking at her door, the stage was more than set.

Imagine...all this coming from me just putting out a movie quote on Facebook! Social Media strikes again!

As I told my loyal Facebook game players, this whole issue could be wiped away using another quote I used....it comes from Thelma and Louise. It is from a scene where Thelma and Louise are pulled over (after the shooting) by a State Trooper who happens to be a huge jerk. He talks down to the "little ladies" and then the "little ladies" get the drop on him and pull a gun. Here is what happens next:

State Trooper: [Sobbing] Please! I have a wife and kids.
Thelma: Oh really, well, you're lucky. You be sweet to them, especially your wife. My husband wasn't sweet to me. Look how I turned out.

Oh well, guess Francesca's husband wasn't sweet to her and look how she turned out!

I know...let the comments come on how terrible I am!