Being a mother is fraught with perils. Whether it's long, sleepless nights, never being "done" with anything or the fits of insanity that pop up, motherhood is not for the weak. Never mind that whole pregnancy and labor part, I am talking about the life that begins when that little bundle of joy is born. It's yours and it can't be returned...even if you try really hard.
I have survived...yes, survived...over 11 years of motherhood so far. I am a relative newbie to the field. However, I have two exceptional children. Am I saying that, like so many mothers, I believe my children to be better, smarter or more athletic than other children? Heck no! I am saying that they possess the exceptional ability to drive me to the point of total love and total madness within a range of about a minute. That is skill! I don't think all children possess this skill set at this level. Therefore, my children are in a league of their own and I am most often thinking of running away. I don't run away, or haven't yet, so I think I am a superhero mom. I know this is delusional but it gets me through the day. I am also considering superhero mom costume options. Got suggestions? Just shout those out.
This week, in an attempt to give my kids a good last week before school, I have planned fun outings. We've been to the movies (check out that great review of Captain America!), the pool, and, yesterday, a theme park! Remember when I said that motherhood came with fits of insanity? Well, read on.
My best friend and I decided to take five children ages eleven and under to a theme park. We hoped it would be less crowded now that summer is winding down. (I know, it is 100 degrees outside but schools are about to start back so that is the part of summer I am talking about.) We knew it would be hot. We totally believed we could conquer this theme park and win. Yep, a fit of insanity!
To start, let's meet the children, shall we? (Please note the names have been changed to protect the children from weirdos who stalk the internet looking for things about children and have sick motives for doing so. I sincerely hope all you weirdos are hunted down by the proper authorities or people like that father on the movie Taken and killed.) OK...the kids...we have have Rapunzel (age 5), K-Bug (age 8), Toe Head (age 11), Texas Ranger (age 6) and Walker (age 11). Now, let's meet the mothers! I shall keep the names the same on these because Teresa scares me and I think she would handily kill any of you weirdos I mentioned earlier (fear her...I ain't kidding!) and Beth. That last one is me and I have a gun and I don't mind to shoot said weirdos. In fact, I need some target practice. Now that we have met the players, let's talk about the day we decided to tackle a theme park. WARNING - The following contains discussions of body fluids, fighting, judgemental observations, see through clothing and lots of yelling. Reader discretion is advised.
So, there we were, happily on our way to a theme park. That's a happy time. Right? It sure was! We showed up, totally ignored where the theme park parking attendant told us to go and found a place closer to the front. I don't think that the parking attendant was pleased but we just pretended not to notice his wild waving of arms in the direction he wanted us to go! Ha HA! We already beat part of the system! So, with a parking spot within easy walking distance to the entrance, we all hope out of the van ready to go. Well, Texas Ranger really did need to GO! So, his wonderful mother, that would be me, looked all around and let him pee between two cars. I did encourage him NOT to hit the other cars with pee and figured it would evaporate before the car owners returned and had to step in it so, success! Yep, mother of the year material! With that bit of business taken care of, we walked up to the park entrance just to witness what seemed like thousands of youth group members entering the park. Tons of blue shirts with Biblical messages and then green shirts and grey ones and on and on! They were everywhere! Worse yet, they were all heading for those rides we wanted to get on! (We later were told there were 2,000 youth group members at the park. Do we know how to pick a day to visit or what?!)
At this point, it was about 10 a.m. and already about 90 degrees regular temperature. Theme park temp, around 105. Undaunted, (OK...that is a lie, I was already daunted but I was committed so on with the show!) we started to the first ride and made it on pretty fast. Not so bad! The second ride line was LONG and clogged with all those youth. Never fear, we just moved to the next ride. That is where Teresa and I discovered an embarrassing fact. My shirt, not a white shirt mind you, was see through when wet! We discovered this after we got off a ride where we got really wet. Yep, this is SO my luck. I worried about it for about 23 seconds and then the oppressive heat kicked back in and I decided it would dry fast enough. Besides, it was a theme park and there were people intentionally wearing things that were more suggestive than my transparent t-shirt where you could see that I had actually chosen to wear a bra...unlike some women.
Shortly after I became a walking billboard for Victoria's Secret bras, my children decided they were starving! Not hungry, not "I need a little snack to hold me over", but STARVING! Whining began and, I've going to have to say, my kids excel at this too. So, my nerves are frazzled, you can see through my shirt, I need to find food quickly and it isn't even noon! First food establishment has about 200 of those youth folks I mentioned earlier. We made an alternate plan and raced to another lesser known eating place. Success! I grabbed some food and a table even opened up while I was in line. Being the great mother that I am, I yelled to Walker, "GO GRAB THAT TABLE" and he jumped across a fence to get it! Another skill those kids have, getting what they want! This time it worked for me...usually it is against me!
I had hope. We were sitting down. We were in the shade. There was food and drinks. There was no whining. Life was great! Then we had to get up. BUT, we were all in a better mood so there were some smiles and laughs and we looked like a happy theme park crew. We even hit the next ride and got on relatively quickly even though those groups of youth seemed to be following us. The ride was eventful in that, when we were queued up to ride next, someone on the ride had a cell phone slip out of a pocket and we got to see that sucker totally destroyed! It hit a building twice and then smashed into the pavement breaking into at least three pieces. The kids loved it! Sometimes, it takes so little to make them happy!
All this time, it was getting hotter and hotter. Let me just say, I think that black asphalt was almost as its melting point and I was WAY past mine! BUT, on a good note, my shirt had dried so I wasn't flashing the other park goers.
Time for more coasters and I sat out with Rapunzel and Texas Ranger. We found a spot of shade and stood and stood and stood. We even got to stand there while a questionably dressed family arrived and the conversation between them went down something like this..."WOMAN: You been gone a helluva long time! MAN: Well, that ride line was hell! WOMAN: Well, it is hotter than hell out here!" Good times. Thankfully, they moved on and I spotted a shady bench! What luck?! Too bad Texas Ranger needed to pee again about a minute after we sat down. Off to the closest restroom with Rapunzel in a stroller and Texas Ranger walking funny because he NEVER tells me he needs to pee until the LAST minute! I also should mention that Rapunzel's stroller's wheels would not roll correctly until the driver (me at this time) pushed and shoved it to the point of almost dumping its occupant! I cursed that stroller throughout the day when I had to drive it but it was better than having our youngest member hot, tired, and walking. Concessions must be made in dire times.
So, off we raced to the restroom. I sent Texas Ranger into the men's room which I hate doing in case those perverts that stalk kids online are in the restroom but I had no other choice since he would not join me and Rapunzel in the women's restroom. He runs off and I push, yank and tug that stroller towards the women's restroom. When I arrive at the entrance, three girls wearing those youth t-shirts are admiring themselves in front of the mirror that happens to be in front of the door to the restroom. I get this. I like to look at myself too from time to time. However, if someone comes up, I would move. These girls were firmly planted and weren't moving. So, I did what every mother with a stroller would do, I plowed ahead and sorta played chicken with them. They either had to move or get hit. They moved but just barely enough for me to get to the door. I had to get in front of the stroller and try to open the door and then drag kid and stroller in. Did those girls offer once to help me by holding the door that was in easy reach of the three of them? NOPE! Girls...your t-shirts talk about how you want to tell others about Jesus. Helping people tells others about Jesus. Just saying! (I'm not even going to talk about all those youth kids I saw that were using the Lord's name in vain over and over while wearing those shirts.) Anyway, I entered the restroom while yelling in Rapunzel's direction...I say "in her direction" because she wasn't really listening to me...about how if you are going to wear t-shirt like that they you should help people out and not just stand and watch someone struggle! I now wonder if no one exited the stalls because they were worried about the crazy lady that had entered the restroom yelling! Oh well, restroom crisis averted, and the ride had been a success for the other part of the group!
We worked our way around with tempers flaring as the temperature soared and the lines grew longer. All in all, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Now, I may be writing that because I am sitting in an air conditioned house at the moment and have blocked, a great skill of mine, the bad memories! As it grew late, we decided that I would take the younger two kids on a "kiddie ride" and Teresa would take the older four and try to get on the coaster we had to pass up earlier due to the long line. The plan was to meet at the entrance to the theme park. Ever notice how plans sometimes fall apart? Yep, this one totally blew up on us. With only one cell phone, we couldn't call each other and we apparently missed one another during, you guessed it, another restroom break for Texas Ranger! Hey, at least he was well hydrated! After about an hour, we finally reconnected and we all looked rough. We drug ourselves back to the van and headed for home. About 20 minutes from my house (drop point one), K-Bug said she was feeling sick. Her declarations of, "I think I am going to throw up on the people in the front seat," got our attention and she was promptly given an empty shopping bag. Again, crisis averted and, thankfully, she didn't throw up!
Parting at my house we all looked tired and smelly. Not sure how one looks smelly, but we accomplished it! Best of all, we had all survived that theme park! It may have gotten in some good licks, but we left with nary a scratch! OK...to be honest, Texas Ranger did have a huge blister on his foot but he has prayed for it in every meal time prayer since so I am sure it will be better soon.
Motherhood. I've said it before and I'll say it again. It ain't for sissies!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
And Now We Return You To The Blog About Movies...
So, in the last three days, I have seen two movies at the theater! Yee Haw! I had to be on a serious hiatus from movie theater attendance until recently due to lack of funds. Now, I am making up for lost ground!
Three days ago it was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. It was good. It was about a boy wizard who finally killed the bad guy. OH WAIT...I should have put a spoiler alert in there. Oh well. Anyway, all is well that ends well so I bid a fond farewell to Harry and friends. The movies have been wonderfully done!
Today was Captain America: The First Avenger. Now, I've have seen many of the other Avengers already. Apparently they saved the first one for last. Anyway, Avenger head count...Iron Man (love ya, Robert Downey, Jr!), Thor, Black Widow, Hulk, Haweye (yeah, I have no idea about this one but he has a bow and arrow in the photo), Loki (again, not a clue but he has something to do with Thor), Captain America and Nick Fury who is the leader of this band of superhero/genius/really rich/Norse god/spy type folks. These seem to be the Avengers for the new movie due out in Summer 2012. As to the Avengers from comic book lore, check out their Wikipedia page. There are TONS of them and some are shared with the X-Men and it gets super confusing for people that don't dress up and go to fanboy events. Anyway, before I get sucked further into that vortex of geekdom, let's talk about Captain American.
Chris Evans (yep, the hot one from The Fantastic Four...flame on!) got to put on the old red, white and blue for this one! He's great! They do this awesome CGI and make him a 90 lb. weakling at the beginning. He's a great guy with a big heart that gets the snot beat out of him most days. He really wants to fight the Axis Powers bullies so he keeps trying to get in to WWII even though he has tons of things wrong with him that would pull a F4.
Finally, he gets his shot when he is noticed by a German born scientist working on a "super solider" project. He is chosen and the transformation is, well, let's just say it's a bit drool worthy if you are female! (Chris - that time at the gym REALLY paid off. Thanks from all the women of America!) Whew...where was I? Oh yeah...so, he is now a super soldier and gets to square off against...nobody! Yep, for a little bit he is used as a propaganda "device" to sell War Bonds! Off topic, I really want one of those costumes the female dancers have during his propaganda tour! So retro pin-up bombshell from WWII deal! Movie...was I talking about a movie...yes! So, after his turn at selling bonds, he gets to see some war time action and it turns out well. Yes, he really is a super solider so they decide to use him. Time for a new uniform and a new shield.
All this time, even back during the 90 lb. weakling part, he banters with a woman who is part of this "super solider" team. Does anyone else find it odd that a British woman is part of this all male, all American group? Yeah, me too. BUT, he's gonna have to have a love interest so Peggy is part of the team!
Also, now that we have a hero and his love interest, we gotta have someone bent on world domination...it's the rules! Enter Red Skull played wonderfully by Hugo Weaving! To get a picture of Red Skull, imagine Hilter on crack with his face peeled off. Got it? Good!
The rest goes like this...action, things blow up, people explode into blue vapor, shooting, things blow up, that famous shield gets thrown around...A LOT...things blow up, more shooting, cool planes.
Well, there it is. I hope I didn't give too much away!
I would give it two thumbs up! My favorite of the "Avenger" movies other than Iron Man and they are pretty much tied. Hard to pick because I love Tony's quick wit but Captain America looks really hot. Yes, I am that shallow.
Looking very forward to next summer's Avengers movie that brings them all together. I would also LOVE to be Black Widow...the only girl of the group, she kicks serious butt, and gets to hang out with all these guys...doesn't get better than that!
In case you are still interested in the movie after this crazy review, check out this trailer...
Next up, I hope, Cowboys and Aliens! Gotta love Summer Movies!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
It's Still Sad...Even When You See It Coming
My grandfather, Papaw, passed away this afternoon around four. I saw him last night but now that seems like ages ago. Today has been long and hard and sad.
We all knew it was coming but, hearing my dad tell me that Papaw had died, it felt like a punch. A punch of sorrow. You remember the person in those memories that you have saved up and now you know that you will never see them again this side of heaven.
It was hard telling my kids. They are old enough to have known and loved Papaw. This is also their first real experience with death. It isn't far from mine to be honest. This is probably the closest person to me that I have ever lost. Pushing 40, that is saying something. Anyway, my youngest kept asking why Papaw had to die today. I am not sure if he thought tomorrow would have been better or yesterday but he was fixated on "why today". I told him that we all have a day picked out by God and this was Papaw's special day to go to heaven. He was reminded by me that we will meet again and, even though it is still sad, there will be another day when we see him. Being only six, this is a hard concept to grasp when next week is still a long time away to him. My older son seems to still be processing it. He really doesn't want to seem upset. After all, he is eleven and "mature".
Honestly, this afternoon from four on has felt so long. It has been a lonely time even though I have had many calls, texts, emails, Facebook messages, etc. I guess this is the path we all walk when someone we love dies because only we can wrap our arms around our own grief.
Why today? Because that is exactly when it was suppose to happen. On the day Papaw was born, this date was set. It was over 92 years into the future, but it was still set by the hand of the Almighty. I think when people face the death of someone they love, they also wonder about what day they have set for them. Will it be soon or far into the distance? Will someone think fondly of us and smile over a memory? Perhaps a grandchild of our own might ask "why today". I don't know about any of that because it isn't mine to know. What I do know is that the date is set. So, Papaw, I will see you on that "today" that is meant for me.
We all knew it was coming but, hearing my dad tell me that Papaw had died, it felt like a punch. A punch of sorrow. You remember the person in those memories that you have saved up and now you know that you will never see them again this side of heaven.
It was hard telling my kids. They are old enough to have known and loved Papaw. This is also their first real experience with death. It isn't far from mine to be honest. This is probably the closest person to me that I have ever lost. Pushing 40, that is saying something. Anyway, my youngest kept asking why Papaw had to die today. I am not sure if he thought tomorrow would have been better or yesterday but he was fixated on "why today". I told him that we all have a day picked out by God and this was Papaw's special day to go to heaven. He was reminded by me that we will meet again and, even though it is still sad, there will be another day when we see him. Being only six, this is a hard concept to grasp when next week is still a long time away to him. My older son seems to still be processing it. He really doesn't want to seem upset. After all, he is eleven and "mature".
Honestly, this afternoon from four on has felt so long. It has been a lonely time even though I have had many calls, texts, emails, Facebook messages, etc. I guess this is the path we all walk when someone we love dies because only we can wrap our arms around our own grief.
Why today? Because that is exactly when it was suppose to happen. On the day Papaw was born, this date was set. It was over 92 years into the future, but it was still set by the hand of the Almighty. I think when people face the death of someone they love, they also wonder about what day they have set for them. Will it be soon or far into the distance? Will someone think fondly of us and smile over a memory? Perhaps a grandchild of our own might ask "why today". I don't know about any of that because it isn't mine to know. What I do know is that the date is set. So, Papaw, I will see you on that "today" that is meant for me.
Friday, July 8, 2011
End of Life Experience...
My grandfather is in the process of his end of life experience. Yes, this is the term that all hospital people seem to use for death. Folks, I am in the business of Marketing and PR and you can't pretty it up. It's death. It's sad. You calling it an "end of life experience" doesn't make it any better.
Let me tell you what else doesn't make it better. Family. When two sides (two brothers and their families) decide that they are going to disagree to the point of almost constant fighting, it makes that end of life experience become even worse. When I have to take my grandmother to see my grandfather so I can spare my mother an encounter that might raise her blood pressure to dangerous levels (not kidding), then some people need to take a big "get over yourself and think of someone else" pill! I am physically and emotionally exhausted by today and the days that have proceeded this one. Every day brings some new drama as we move closer to my grandfather's ultimate parting from us. In a time when we should be lifting each other up, we are instead grabbing handfuls of hair to pull each other down!
Honestly, I try very hard (and have thus far succeeded) in steering clear of the fighting. Most everyone at least tolerates me. The rest of the family, not so much.
I am thankful that my grandmother has "stood up" to things and, maybe for the first time in her almost 93 years, made tough decisions. She is a real trooper and I am inspired by her. She and I have had long talks this last week and I am honored to be her granddaughter. So, maybe not all is lost in this end of life experience called death.
This is a jumble of thoughts but they are some I needed to pour out. If you are still reading, thanks. I could also use some prayers for this dysfunctional family I find myself tied to.
Also, just because I like it, I am posting the lyrics and video of a song I am really into at the moment. I guess they had to use the word "die" since "end of life experience" doesn't work well in songs...
"If I Die Young" ~ The Band Perry
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
Let me tell you what else doesn't make it better. Family. When two sides (two brothers and their families) decide that they are going to disagree to the point of almost constant fighting, it makes that end of life experience become even worse. When I have to take my grandmother to see my grandfather so I can spare my mother an encounter that might raise her blood pressure to dangerous levels (not kidding), then some people need to take a big "get over yourself and think of someone else" pill! I am physically and emotionally exhausted by today and the days that have proceeded this one. Every day brings some new drama as we move closer to my grandfather's ultimate parting from us. In a time when we should be lifting each other up, we are instead grabbing handfuls of hair to pull each other down!
Honestly, I try very hard (and have thus far succeeded) in steering clear of the fighting. Most everyone at least tolerates me. The rest of the family, not so much.
I am thankful that my grandmother has "stood up" to things and, maybe for the first time in her almost 93 years, made tough decisions. She is a real trooper and I am inspired by her. She and I have had long talks this last week and I am honored to be her granddaughter. So, maybe not all is lost in this end of life experience called death.
This is a jumble of thoughts but they are some I needed to pour out. If you are still reading, thanks. I could also use some prayers for this dysfunctional family I find myself tied to.
Also, just because I like it, I am posting the lyrics and video of a song I am really into at the moment. I guess they had to use the word "die" since "end of life experience" doesn't work well in songs...
"If I Die Young" ~ The Band Perry
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)