It's Always Something...

Ever notice when you get something behind you that you've been dreading, life throws you something new?  Well, I hate that!  I think we need a mandatory 1 week "down time" before the next, "are you kidding me" type deal arrives that your mind fixates on.

As you might have guessed, I have been worrying about something (small by the weight of the world standards) but it was troubling.  I hate stress.  I think it should be outlawed.  I bet Obama will claim he can do that in his re-election bid!  (And make all of Paula Deene's recipes fat free without removing any of her fabulous ingredients!  He should really claim that one!  It would go a LONG way with the Southern states! Just saying!)

Anyway, the issues got resolved today with mostly excellent results!  YIPPIE!  I see myself pulling right off of the stress interstate and into calmville when WHAM!, hit by the stress bus I didn't see coming!  Why?  Oh...yeah...that's life! 

It really isn't even stress but those things that I let bother me.  We've all got 'em.  Those nagging little things that tell you what a bad person you are!  The real deal is we are all bad people without grace and forgiveness!  But, we rank the bad, don't we? 

Here's the deal, I am divorced.  I was married for 7 months (yes, I said months) and then I...yes, me...made the decision to end the marriage.  I take full responsibility for my actions.  I was stupid.  Some people judge me based on that fact.  Some don't even know they are doing it but they do it just the same...because it isn't what they would have done.  They would never have done that!  Well, you sure didn't walk that mile in my shoes.  The shoes I still have to wear and feel bad about every time it comes to mind.  I know that divorce is something that God hates.  I know that if you remarry, as I have, then you commit adultry.  All of these are truths.  I acknowledge my mistakes.  Thank goodness there are people so much better than me. 

BUT, are they?  Of course not.  We are all sinners saved by grace.  Before my divorce (besides being young and stupid) I looked down on people and thought of myself as better many times because I hadn't made in "big mistakes."  Afterwards, I looked at myself for what I am...a worthless sinner in need of Jesus!  I knew I needed Him before, but that divorce opened my heart to knowing that we all walk this road of life and make mistakes.  We all need forgiveness from our Lord.  A litttle compassion from each other is also a really good thing!

So, next time I start to stand on a "I would never have done that" type moment, I hope I remember how I felt when someone did it to me.  It sure doesn't feel good.

(I promise that one of these days I will get back to writing about movies and more fun stuff.  I just needed to purge this before I let it bother me and send me heading 100 mph down that stress interstate!)

Countdown...

I am on the countdown to my 40th birthday. Yippie...right? Actually, who cares? Another number. Another birthday. I wish I had done things by now that I haven't and I have regrets. That's life...right? Maybe.

The last couple of years have been...um...less than great. That happens. Life isn't a promise of the easy. However, it has made me into a person who doesn't want to expect anything good because disappointment seems to follow me around. Am I doing this to myself by expecting too much? More than likely. But, don't we all do that from time to time? I think so. We all grow up expecting fairytales and those don't exist outside of the movies.

I have much to be thankful for and I hope I can focus on those things as I move forward instead of the things that I can't change. Unhappiness can pull us all under if we let it. We just have to start each day telling ourselves that we will not go quietly into that goodnight. Attitude is everything! Having a sense of humor sure doesn't hurt either!

Of course, when all this goes wrong, I am for running away! Location suggestions and willling parties to join me are welcome!